what can i say about this that has not already been said? i feel like a marathon runner who got accidentally shot by the guy with the starting pistol. like i have all the tools to participate, but some clumsy loser is trying to keep me off my feet. i know that this sounds weird, or dramatic, or something, but really, without going in to specifics, you would have to have seen my luck the past few weeks. it has been just sad. i feel more like a therapist or guidance counselor than anything. and a prude. hilarious.
what i am feeling is that i might not be reading deeply enough into the people i am going out with because i am trying to make split second decisions on chemistry the way i do in the real world. until just this moment i forgot to stop and realize that that never really worked for me either. i have also been making excuses for why i should tolerate behaviors that i really can't stand.
guys who do drugs.
guys who show up for a date with no money. a first date. i get that i can and will pay my own way, but i have never gone into anything expecting someone else to pay for me.
guys who smoke pot. different from drugs, as it is mostly harmless but i am so underwhelmed by the personality that comes with daily smokers.
guys who want to talk about their exes. on the first date. this tells me that you are not over her, because if you were, describing yourself would not have anything to do with your previous relationship. at least not at first.
guys who want sex. first date. you do not know me. you feeling all hot and heavy and probably drunk? well, i cannot help you, buddy. have enough respect for me to keep your hands to yourself.
guys who get wasted. i do not tend to be a big drinker but am all for social interactions and going with the flow. i do not want to be the girl who had nine whiskeys with the guy who had nine whiskeys any more than you do. trust me. this will not translate into an invitation to my bedroom.
do i sound harsh? well, i am not perfect, either. though i seem to know a lot about what i do not want, i do not really know what exactly i do want, which, i think is good. maybe now i can actually pay attention instead of just letting that guy with his waving pistol keep bringing me down.