i very recently lifted my head from my books for long enough to realize that it would be kind of fun to meet someone. i have been casually and sort of listlessly dating around the neighborhood for the last two years or so, having fun and not quite needing for anything to really stick. in popping my head up, i realized that uptown is tiny and i keep seeing the same faces, day in and day out, which is fine as they are nice faces, just not the ones i want to be waking up to, if you know what i mean.
so, i did it. i took the plunge and put a profile out on a dating site and was not disappointed by the amount of attention a girl can get who is in her twenties, sans divorce or dripping with the need to trot down the aisle and then straight to the delivery room anytime in the near future. that coupled with the fact that i do not have any stalky exes or a sinful past makes me a good candidate for just about anyone. Being creative and not too hard on the eyes is icing on the cake, i guess.
so, i was excited. wow, i was about to chat with and possibly meet a whole bunch of new people! I was going to be able to check them out and see what they were sort of like and establish that they could maybe like me to. it sounded like a breeze to me and i only wondered why more people were not doing the same.
oh holy hell, was i wrong.
after posting my profile and cruising my match selection and 'favoriting' the ones i wanted to message when i got a free minute, i shut my computer off and promptly forgot all about it for about a week because as luck would have it, i met someone to date in person,briefly anyway.
when that guy, well will call smismathew, turned out to have a girlfriend, i literally said fuck this and pulled up my account, thinking maybe there would be a few nice messages for me.
and there were, if by a few you mean 87 and you add it to the other 62 gross ones. in three days my profile had been viewed over three hundred times!
i was in shock. i was overwhelmed, and i was excited.
first, because yes, i feel that you MUST be attracted to someone before you can date them, i nixed all of the messages from people who were not really my type and then went through and scanned the messages of those who were left, deleting all of the ones that said stupid shit like 'hey gurl, what up?' or 'dam r u sexy' and then i looked at photos of those remaining and weeded out anyone with a picture of themselves topless in the mirror.
i ended up with 18 possible matches.
that night, by the time i had read those 18 exhaustive profiles, i was too tired to write anyone about anything.
and that was phase one of my experience in online dating.