Wednesday, February 8, 2012

and now we play the dating game. yay. phase 1

i very recently lifted my head from my books for long enough to realize that it would be kind of fun to meet someone.  i have been casually and sort of listlessly dating around the neighborhood for the last two years or so, having fun and not quite needing for anything to really stick. in popping my head up, i realized that uptown is tiny and i keep seeing the same faces, day in and day out, which is fine as they are nice faces, just not the ones i want to be waking up to, if you know what i mean.

so, i did it. i took the plunge and put a profile out on a dating site and was not disappointed by the amount of attention a girl can get who is in her twenties, sans divorce or dripping with the need to trot down the aisle and then straight to the delivery room anytime in the near future.  that coupled with the fact that i do not have any stalky exes or a sinful past makes me a good candidate for just about anyone.  Being creative and not too hard on the eyes is icing on the cake, i guess.

so, i was excited.  wow, i was about to chat with and possibly meet a whole bunch of new people! I was going to be able to check them out and see what they were sort of like and establish that they could maybe like me to. it sounded like a breeze to me and i only wondered why more people were not doing the same.

oh holy hell, was i wrong.

after posting my profile and cruising my match selection and 'favoriting' the ones i wanted to message when i got a free minute, i shut my computer off and promptly forgot all about it for about a week because as luck would have it, i met someone to date in person,briefly anyway.

when that guy, well will call smismathew, turned out to have a girlfriend, i literally said fuck this and pulled up my account, thinking maybe there would be a few nice messages for me.

and there were, if by a few you mean 87 and you add it to the other 62 gross ones.  in three days my profile had been viewed over three hundred times!

i was in shock. i was overwhelmed, and i was excited.

first, because yes, i feel that you MUST be attracted to someone before you can date them, i nixed all of the messages from people who were not really my type and then went through and scanned the messages of those who were left, deleting all of the ones that said stupid shit like 'hey gurl, what up?' or 'dam r u sexy' and then i looked at photos of those remaining and weeded out anyone with a picture of themselves topless in the mirror.

i ended up with 18 possible matches.

that night, by the time i had read those 18 exhaustive profiles, i was too tired to write anyone about anything.

and that was phase one of my experience in online dating.

1 comment:

  1. Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
    Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
    Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
    Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
    Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
    Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
    Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
    And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.
    Strive to be happy.