i work in a bar. duh.
i work in a dive bar. uh huh.
i work in a dive bar full of regulars. sure. great. get to the point.
for the most part, this is great. it is nice to walk into work and see a bunch of familiar faces. or to be super busy and to look up and notice that your next table is not only someone you love to wait on, but someone who will love you back, monetarily.
and then, there is you.
we call you and your boyfriend that 'couple of stupid fuckers' because that is what you are to us.
you, with your stuck up pig face that we only have the privilege of studying from afar as you will not ever bother to actually look at us when you order us around, will eat your weight in cheese and drink your weight in beer and bore neat little holes in the back of my skull with your beady little pig eyes if you have to sit for even a minute without something to shove in your face.
and your dumbass boyfriend is no better. i guess i would be pissed, too if my girlfriend looked like a barn animal, but does that mean he has to yell his order? am i deaf? is he deaf? and why does it take him so long to choose a beer? our selection hasn't changed since bush inauguration number one. how hard is it to choose between a bottle or tap of rocky mountain piss water?
so, when they finally order,i slam over to the well to pick up their drinks. the bartender laughs, knowing that is my turn to wait on them, the them, one of the many thems that frequent every bar since the beginning of bar time.
eventually they leave, taking with them a sliver of my patience, while the fish hook to a different place tugs at me with a little more insistence than usual.
why do i let this get to me? because i am really good at my job. i am a great server slinging two for ones and grease at people who wish i was either ugly or naked, if they do not know me well enough to know me at all. i won't miss my regulars because they will still be here when i get done with work, instead of being here with me,and being my work.
and the thems? the stupid fuckers? well, while i am still here, i will be dedicating a bit of my time to finding out where they work so i can repay them for the shitty attitude and paltry tip. you may not know who you are now, but soon enough, you will.